NOTES FROM A SMALL ISLAND

Actually, that should be "Notes from small island that think it's big." Small island syndrome. Akin to a Napoleon little man complex, but applied to countries. Do you want further proof that my comparisons are correct. Cats. Remember those powerful little men who invade countries, Napoleon, Hitler and Tom Cruise. Ok, not Tom Cruise he has cuban heels. If only the other two had discovered cuban heels, but I digress cats wasn't it?

Well you know the old chestnut about little men dictactors having the cat phobia, well I think the island does too. Take the Manx cat. It's a tailess cat. I mean only the island that has a three legged flag could produce a tailess cat, and yes some islanders are wary of them. So you see, little dictators persuing world domination, but fear the kitty cat and little island persuing financial industry world domination, but fear of the kitty cat. I rest my case.

It's been a busy old time lately. I took my eye off the ball for a wee while and the wallaby left the island, and the cones moved in closer. I now have the photographic evidence of the cone infestation. Quick, call in Mulder and Scully, it's an x file.

One more thing. This blog isn't supposed to make sense, it's light hearted, tongue in cheek, ranting and raving of my far too clever for her own good alter ego. So please newbies, don't be snippy. You have to admit the Tom Cruise gag was good. Just click and your'e away from the nasty blog.


WALLABY WATCH!
Kidnapped by aliens, rumour has it. Remember folks The truth is out there!

WHAT'S IN A MEME?

As a nubie blogger the Meme game is a new phenomena to me. When I was recently tagged(not at all painful) I thought I had better check this neme lark out. Quite a harmless online game of tic/your'e it/tig that has several different formats. This particular one being meme your memoir in 6 words. Not at all easy for someone like me, who uses far too many. Ahem.

So the rules(I am not good with rules)

1. Write your own six word memoir.
2. Post it on your blog; include a visual illustration if you'd like.
3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post, and to the original post if possible.
4. Tag at least five more blogs with links.
5. Leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!

So, the person who kindly tagged me is the lovely Gerald of HYDE DAILY PHOTO
to name one of his many interesting and varied blogs.

Receivers of the Meme

1.For her wonderful book reviews, a true wordsmith, this will amuse her APLOMB
2.For lovingly written music reviews that shoud be read JAMJARSUPERSTAR
3For constantly pushing herself in the running world and getting my humour LILY
4.For being a blogger amongst bloggers with some really good insights into life FAIZAL
5.For very individual scary photography, and wittty posts TOM FOOLERY

So receivers, it's not compulsary. Ignore, play along, forget about or dither, over to you. I'm going to suggest at least one of you may have previously done one of these and is probaly getting very bored with them now.

Oh Mine. I was hoping you'd let me get away with it.

"Perpetually confused being a cynical optimist"



Tomorrow of course it would be six entirely different words, for tomorrow is another day. Five words.

ISLE OF MAN , PC GONE MAD

The eagle eyed(no that bird pun wasn't intened) may have noticed that this photo is also on my daily blog. Now I do usually try and have differing ones, but the bloody files have gone walkabout and well, I can't access anything new. So all the other photos I have taken in Raw are lurking somewhere mysteriously on my PC. Why they would run away undercover of older files I don't know. That has been the week in general though, hence my absence.

I get one post done, nip over to this blog, but no, server down. Then MY LAPTOP JUST KEEPS MISBEHAVING. It keeps going to sleep. Goodnight, just going to standby. Then it's the hiding of files. I have obviously done some heinous deed towards it I am unaware of, but for the sweet life of me I have no notion of what that would be. It's being well very Manx. No you don't want to work, there's time enough, I'm going to sleep. Er, no you are not. You are my laptop, now do as you are told or else I will feed you to the cones.

Oh yes, before I go, or my narcoleptic laptop passes out I have been dared to do something a little mad when the TT is on. Get a T. shirt with one of my photos on with my website details printed and wear it, sort of free advertising for my sales site. Should be fun. Epecially if I could get on one of the TV channels covering it, just to wave to you all.

The photo is the baby cormorant of the one I photographed earlier this year. Check out my other blog for more info and semsible wrting. RAMSEY DAILY PHOTO

WALLABY WATCH!
Trying to get a flight anywhere off the island when TT is on. Motorbikes and wallabies don't mix.

I WANDERED LONELY AS A CLOUD AMONGST 10,OOO ....CONES!

They are back! Just when I thought it was safe to venture further afield than Ramsey. You know what I'm refering to don't you? Those damned cones! Yes ladies, gentleman and wallabies, the killer cones of the Isle of Man are back, and this time it's war.

It's not just Laxey now. There seems to be an infestation(not sure what the collective noun should be) of cones running the length of the coastal road from the Hairpin(part of the TT course) to Laxey. It doesn't end there is either. Leaving Laxey onto Onchan and into Douglas... Cones.

A new terror is upon us now, the "Town Cones." These are the specialist group. Highly adept at disguising themselves as harmless objects guarding manhole covers. Oh no, beware this particular cone. Today I saw one lurking in an empty shop window. Empty apart from this lone cone. How did a cone get into an empty locked shop, and why? So be on your guard against the evil that is as pointy as a witches hat, as orange as the sunniest sun and as plastic as well, a cone.

Today I have a T.T. photo. It's 2006, Sidecar race. I cropped it a little differently to how I normally would so you can see some elusive locals. Guess where they are watching the action from, the pub called the Swan, the one where I was a member of the Quiz team.

WALLABY WATCH!
Rounding up those cones before the tourists get here.

TIME ENOUGH TO PROCRASTINATE

There is a lovely, quaint, sweet saying about jobs to be done by the islanders. The saying, and i'm not going to attempt the Manx, is called " time enough." I know, that's it. Not exactly groundbreaking is it? Not the earth shattering verbal gymnastics you have come to expect here (why use one word when you can use 25 say I) is it. I have another saying, well word for it. Not Manx but plain English. Procrastination.

Try getting a little man in to do any household job here. We may, or may not, have a damp problem. We certainly have something very strange under one particular kitchen tile. We need expert advice.Time enough we are told, time enough. We will get round to you. We will give you our opinion/diagnosis soon. Time enough. We will at some point repair/ resurface/ renovate. Time enough.

In the meantime however, I am slowly tearing my hair out at this time enough business. I may, afterall, be cultivating something quite nasty under the kitchen tile. One shudders to think. Time enough, procrastination, or just plain lazy. Subject to interpretation as always, like everything Manx.

I have decided that I do suffer from procrastination to a certain degree. It's called playing on my pc when I should be doing far more important things instead, like my tax return.

The photo. Top of a lighthouse, one at the Point Of Ayre. For my own amusement this photo seemed appropriate. Virginia Wolfe, depression, procrastination, modern day pychosis. Well it makes sense to me.

WALLABY WATCH!
Comtemplating why a wallaby needs watching.

TRAINS, BLAMES AND SORT OF APPEALS.

I'm on the bus, minding my own business, got the ipod on, staring into a faceless void of coastal sea when it happens. Do my eyes deceive me or is that the Ramsey to Douglas tram train I see along side of us. I do believe it is. Oh Happy Day!Joy To The World! Hallelujah, Praise the .... Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat! it's stopping at Laxey.

So, almost, not quite a monumental day, the Boo a happy bunny. I could have shown you pictures of it in Ramsey, with Mrs H. Brew and the grandkids. I could have have taken photographs from the train, as it cuts through the mountains. As it takes in those little one horse towns, fights it's way through the hammer horror rolling mist, passing the escaped wallaby(you never know), I could have been a contender..... Oh that's going off at a decidedly different tangent.

Manx Electric Railway, bunch of numpties.Are you trying to kill the town off altogether.We have tourist too. We still have the odd larger sized business.The excuse that this particular stretch of the track, (conveniently) is suddenly a sad state of affairs, and needs urgent repairs, year long repairs is just bull. It's not the Forth Bridge, it's a Thomas The Tank Engine, baby sized railtrack.It's a month tops, now sort it.

Rant done. The pic was last april, and the lovely pink buliding is the Police Station. It's a drab cream now. I do miss the baby pink toytown station, such a calming effect on criminals.

WALLABY WATCH!
Doing hard labour, back on the chain gang, along the laxey part of the railway.

GHOST IN THE MACHINE

Obviously I speak another language, and it wouldn't happen to be Manx. I was asked today why I upload my photos I should be selling. Now, I have no problems with answering this. However I do take exception to the manner in which the question was asked. It appears I am abnormal because I choose to vent my spleen on the one hand and display a pretty picture with it, especially when I turned my back on the sensible bank in order to become a photographer, you know one of those people that sells what they snap.

So maybe Mrs nosey at shopshite, you have partially answered your own question. I vent my spleen, because of idiots like you, who are bound by the confines of their job, and are afraid to put their head above the parapet and been seen to be themselves. Or perhaps you actually have nothing else to offer the world so you, and many like you, sneer at others who choose to communicate with the world ouside their own sphere.

I offer a daily( 2 ) photo for free, beacuse I can, I want to, I enjoy. They are not exactly my high res, biggies, those are the sales ones, you dummy mrs shopshite. In return, I get to have a rant(therapy) get to see other countries via photos, learn of other cultures via blogging, the wonders of other people's hobbies, to laugh, I could go on So Mrs one dimentional, when you got to bed tonight, what will you have learnt today?

Another sunset, I know, but it's just there on my doorstep, and each night the light is so different. What's a girl to do. I'm altruistic to a point, but a bit like sex, sunsets sell.

WALLABY WATCH!
considering going travelling after seeing everyone else's wonderful countries.

IT'S NOT A CATTLE PROD!

It may aswell be a cattle prod, my camera that is. Following on from "Trust Me I'm A Photographer", it's still happening. Cones hold their ground, defiantly saying shoot me woman, shoot me. People however, even those laid back Manx types are reacting at the sight of a camera as if they have just had the proverbial cattle prod, inserted into the proverbial nether regions.

Surely it will hurt me more than it will hurt them? Just a fraction of their time. Me. Do they realise what I have to scarifice. Space on my card, valuable nano seconds taking it, uploading to my "oh no not more bloody photos" laptop, converting from Raw to Tif/ jpeg, filing in my image library under "supposedly human", Cropping, not cropping, colour, black and white.... Overload, Overload. You see my point though don't you? Who may I ask is gaining from the deal. I can't claim this time back. I just want to show off the good folk of the Isle of Man to the world. I could lie and tell you it's for the newspapers, then you'd be beating a path to my door.

So an old pic from last year today. Just to show we have life here. It's TT practise week, the week before the actual races, and all the bikers you see are tourist bikers, not those taking part. It's also my practise week for speeds and angles. I like this shot because it really sums up the Manx laid back way. That woman was positively dawdling, the lights had long since changed, and she nonchanlanty strolled across, oblivious to the traffic building up behind her.Wonderful.

WALLABY WATCH!
Still waiting for the woman to cross the road.

IT'S NOT COMING HOME

It's not coming home then afterall, the F.A. that is. Hand of Posh, and it was all over(thank you for concurring with me about that "none goal" Stephen) .To add insult to injury, blogger was a nightmare yesterday, along with the server here making me yes Mr Hyde, a unhappy bunny. Didn't do sensible other blog post 'til late and couldn't post anything on this the darkside at all.So Lily, you weren't the only one with posting problems. Think the gremlins are at work to undermine the blogging community.

So after the debacle of the football I was not in the mood to be disturbed. Tell that to my neighbour, and I do hope at some point you read this somewhere. You are an idiot. You are inconsiderate. You have no idea what you are doing. The silly litte man next door is buliding an extension , on a new house...for the last 6 YEARS. We have only been in a year. Drilling, hammering, tapping, breaking bricks, for 6 hours straight. The back garden resembles a buliders yard. What the hell he is doing I don't know. The extension remains the same shell it always has been. But the final straw was going out the front door to find he has dug up his own lawn to our side, where a lovely cherry tree sits, now with it's roots exposed on his side. The idiot had also dug up the dividing fence and get this, thrown it onto our lawn. Needless to say, it got thrown onto his and words were had to the effect he reinstate it or else. Why do I have to live in a nice little cul-de-sac, in a nice little semi, unfortunately attached to the semi detached brainwise D.I.Y. calamity from hell. Ps. Your wife and and 3 young boys are charming personification of politeness, you are spoilt brat that should be ashamed of yourself. The words are good morning, not grunt, or look the other way and pretend we aren't there. You imbecile.

The Tulip Pic, Peek-A-Boo was from a bunch Barker bought to console me. That and Jaffa cakes washed down with lashing of Baileys.

WALLABY WATCH!
Digging an underground tunnel to collapse the neighbours extension and put him in it's place instead.

WE DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOING

Tried to join Sky Watcy Friday Tonight. What a travesty that was. I can't import the widget. Tried every which way round I can, but the bloody thing is having none of it. Signed up to the linky link thing(no it really is called that), did the old copy and paste, chose all the right components etc an no, still won't bloody appear. This is bad omen for tomorrow.

I would be feeling a grumpy bunny about the above but far more important things to concern me. No am feeling all fluffy bunnykins, very excitable as my beloved West Bromwich Albion are off to Wembley tomorrow to play against some crappy team, in the semi final of the F. A Cup.

The Barker has already decided he would rather do the weekend shopping than watch this particular football match with me. He can't stand the shrieking, the flinging myself at the T. V., the constant swearing, the cheering or the tantrums depending on the result. I haven't exactly got what you call poker face. I do go a bit wild, but in my lifetime W.B.A HAVEN'T WON ANYTHING. Now, they had my pocket money for entrance fees when I was younger. I gave up dates, shopping, visits to my nan to support this bloody team. They owe me. Despite my trials and tribulations I am the eternal ( but extremely cynical) optimist so I have a dream, it's coming home and for once we will know what we're doing.

This then is my 1st official sky watch pic. Not sure about it yet myself, but uploaded it anyway as it's as fresh as a daisy., a newborn babe of a pic called painted sky. Ah.

WALLABY WATCH!

Travelled to a parallel universe, where, I rule, W. B. A have won the cup, widgets work, and Martin Luther King is alive and well and living the dream.

CHAFFINCH HAS WOMAN'S ARM TRANSPLANT!

Obviously there has been no such Frankenstein type transplant. It's the chaffinch that flew into the window the other week, the one I mentioned with the siskin photo.Today is all about my barmy birds. Now, my little feathered friends I love you all dearly, you keep me sane in a mad world but, lets face it your're a bit of a nightmare aren't you?

1. Stop pooping on my washing. It's very fustrating to find your birdy dropping on my freshly washed clothes. It's not big and it's not clever!

2.Learn to share. You know there is a never ending supply, so queue in an orderly fashion, and then peck away.

3.Sort out your air traffic control. It's a window, not a drive through mcbirdies. I will not always be around(or Barker) to rescue you when you've flung yourself headlong at the window, fall onto your back and can't get onto your feet. I haven't really got 3 hours to sit with you until you come round and then run round the garden with you teaching you how to fly. Besides that, it's hard trying to explain to the neighbours, er yes it's another poorly bird, too coincidental for them.

4.Stop having mass orgies in my garden. Really, the noise. Chasing each other, groups, not practising safe sex, promiscuity. Please I'm going all "NIMBY"with you birds, Not In My BackYard.

5. Last but not least, stay bloddy still when I'm trying to photograph you, yes you mr grey pied wagtail, it's not a race, chill out.

So the pic is me and my poorly chaffinch, the one that wouldn't fly off, the one that I was running up and dwon the garden with flaping my arms to encourage him to fly. So get the tripod out, set the pic up, and click the timer.

WALLABY WATCH!

Warding off those naughty cats without bells who try and kill my pretties, my birds. It suits him working outdoors as he can have a fag anytime.

TRUST ME I'M A PHOTOGRAPHER

Ok. Hands up who thought yesterdays post was an April Fool. Only partially. Barker did upload a cartoon of Mugabe, and he did get lots of traffic from government buildings in Zimbabwe. He did get the odd disturbing email, but on the whole we are quite safe. Lets face it Google earth feejit thinks we live in Douglas, Lanarkshire, Scotland, so doubt if Mugabe can find us. Apparently he has a small problem of an election result to consider. Here's hoping it's not in his favour.

So, my other blog, the Ramsey Daily Photo is doing well. That is it's doing well online around the world. What of the island. Well, I'm out and about in Ramsey, trawling the high street for images with the big camera with the big lens, stopping to snap varying pieces that catch my eye. So why is this considered abnormal behaviour. I'm sure the good folk of Ramsey still believe that if I snap them, I may be stealing their soul or something. Good grief people, do you not want to be immortalized on the net for posterity. Something to tell the grandkids, all around the world, that was me when I was younger picking my nose, breaking wind while having a fag outside the pub. That was me letting my dog crap everywhere and not scooping up the poop. That was me falling out the pub and dropping my chips, and shoving the chip paper into the nearest shop letterbox.

So to Ramsey, and be warned tomorrow Douglas. The camera isn't the devils tool and I am not one of his minions. If you can upload your idiotic antics onto You Tube for all the world to see then surely when I'm photographing, that ineresting angle, a humourous, sign or another sunset and you just happen to be wolfing down your ice cream in shot, then in the scheme of all worldy things, it's not so bad is it.

Todays pic is a solitary narcissus. I put a matt black card behind it( no light reflection then) and snapped away. I suppose that would account for why some people consider this photography lark of mine a bit nuts. Well all I'll say is if being able to wander about in the fresh air, with no timetable to adhere to as opposed to being stuck back in a darkened airless vault in the bank, nuts then I am, a fully paid up member of the barmy brigade. Job satisfaction, second to none.

WALLABY WATCH!
He's gone to ground in fear that I might capture his image with that pint in his hand. Wallabies are supposed to be teetotal.

ZIMBABWE ELECTIONS

If I stop this post mid flow it means I have been dragged out of here off the Island, and possibly en route to Zimbabwe. The "Barker" is in hiding as it is, travelling between safe houses, (well relatively safe houses), trying to email messages out for an emergency airlift.

First though the smoking ban. The streets of Ramsey were today littered with smokers huddled on doorsteps of pubs and workplaces with upturned collars. Obviously the reason they didn't introduce it mid winter as islanders would have been very reluctant to go outside. So far so good.

Back to the emergency airlift. The "Barker" thought it would be a good idea to upload a cartoon he's drawn of Mugabe's head on a set of crossbones with the words "DANGER! ELECTION RESULTS AHEAD." It's on his Barker Bites Back blog( see links). I would have uploaded it here but we think it's best if i stick to rants, tangents, photos, etc. why?Becuse today his blog suddenly went a bit mad with hits in Zimabwe and neighbouing countries. So a little check on Google earth pinpointed where, and oh dear it may be the man himself, but certainly Government buidings. He's also had some very worrying(not threatening yet, but certainly disconcerting) emails about it from some very strange sources.

Political cartooning can be a dangerous occupaition, and hate mail, obnoxious comments go with the territory, but this is altogether unchartered waters for us. So seriously folks Babooshka and Barker may be whisked away for our own safety for a wee while. If so can I please request the South of France as my hideaway. You can check the cartoon out yourself at the "Barker Bites Back " link, if you dare.

The photo. It's part of Peel Castle, at er Peel. I had the setting on for cloudy even though it was a sunny day as you can sometimes get very vibrant rich colurs and textures this way, hence the depth of colour. Doen't always work, but when it does it's very pleasing on the eye.

WALLABY WATCH!
Disgused as a cone and infiltrating Laxey cones and claiming not to be the Wallaby that features on this blog or knows of any Political Cartoonist. PS. Mr Mugabe you don't scare me, it's time for you to GO!